Dir en grey

For me, it’s hard to describe how a silly little band has become enmeshed into my daily life since I was a teenager. Over the past twenty years or so, active interest in these five nerdy men that make the best genre-bending noise comes and goes, but nothing beats the chase of the next live show. Especially a live show in Japan.

Sometimes I’m poring over translated interviews, deeply invested in Shinya’s quest to become a YouTuber, and saving gift ideas for Kyo's next birthday. Sometimes I pay so little attention that their songs are second-choice for my daily BGM, and it’s nice to know when they’re touring, but I don’t care to check setlists or social media posts.

From camping on the street to joining a secret VIP fanclub

I was that kid in college that skipped class to sleep on the street before live shows...and I also became that kid to fly across the world with a stranger I met online. (But I'd been to Japan before.) There's something connecting fans that makes most of us trustworthy to each other. Sure, there's been line-cutting and elitism, but many of us were just babies back then, protective of our first experiences with the band. There were also people that would share food and save your spot so you could go to the bathroom. (You better believe I claimed center rail more than once, though!) Now we're in our twenties and thirties, and I'm forever melancholic that the vibrant online communities have died.

Since being lucky enough to be a premium member of the very first travel package only open to overseas fans, I'm now a part of a group called The International Fucker Family. We have a large group chat that has been ongoing since 2023. It has brought back some of the daily joy in my life that I used to experience when I was active in the online fandom. We also talk about our other interests, hobbies, and ups-and-downs in life. A found family. New members from other travel package tours are always added to our group chat. There is no pressure to communicate, but we're always there.

It’s finally here! The “migraine aura simulation” album with the runes typography that’s begging to be animated.

While so close to their 30th anniversary, the “rainbow” photoshoot seems to mirror their very first album art (MISSA) in a way that I now wonder if it was intentional. It’s almost a perfect circle; like they’re introducing themselves again. It’s very impressive to know how their songwriting process works, with everyone working individually, across varying schedules, for a creative work to end up this polished after two years of work. Both things are huge milestones.